5 Signs - You're Not in Love, You're Trauma Bonded

9 February 2024

Here are five signs that you're probably not in love, but rather stuck in a trauma relationship:

You hold on to them even when they hurt

If they hurt you, use you, or manipulate you, but you can't let go of them, this may be a sign of a trauma bond.

You try to change yourself to please them

In true love you stay who you are, but in trauma bond you may erase your likes, boundaries and desires to please them.

You justify their behavior

If you constantly respond to or make excuses for their bad behavior, it may be a sign of trauma bond.

Your friends and family remain worried

Love makes your face glow, but trauma bond can make your loved ones worried.

You are afraid of them but still attracted

In a trauma bond you may be afraid of their unpredictability, but still be drawn to them.


Learn about healthy relationships. Recognize and respect your needs and limitations.


Stay away from toxic and manipulative relationships. Don't be ashamed to seek help.

Note that these pointers may not apply in every situation. If you suspect that you are stuck in trauma bondage, it is important to talk to a mental health professional. They can help you recognize healthy relationships and overcome trauma bondage.

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